The Kissing Kathryn Drabble Series
Because these stories are so short, they are all on one page
Kissing Kathryn (story one)
She tried to ask without sounding petulant. "Did it bother you when she addressed you?"
Kathryn could not meet her eyes. She was looking at some readout on the Astrometrics display that wasn’t really all that interesting. Finally she allowed, "I didn’t care for being interrupted."
Tal Celes had thoughtlessly interrupted their earlier conversation, but had left the Astrometrics lab some time ago. Now they were alone and Seven shivered at the tone of Kathryn’s voice… low, intimate. A personal tone not heard before but definitely meant to convey a private meaning. The words were careful, almost too careful.
"Does that mean you wished to speak with me?"
Kathryn knew what was being asked and sighed a little. Taking hold of her courage she said, "Yes, I wanted to know what you felt."
"I felt close to you, more than as my friend. I wanted to kiss you."
Kathryn’s face was tight with a frown. Lips were pursed and eyes troubled. When she looked up her blue-gray eyes were dark with inner turmoil and when she finally spoke it was not what was expected.
"She’s not here now."
Seven read promise in the words and dared not hope.
"No, she is not."
"Do you still want to? To kiss me?"
Kathryn took the initiative. Gently she reached up to touch both sides of the metal adorned face. Her hands were so soft, so warm. Heart pounding, breath harsh between parted lips, Seven never expected to be in this position or to be so aroused. Eyes focused on Kathryn’s lips, the color of burnt roses. Her captain slowly leaned closer. She took an eternity to close the distance leaving time for Seven to change her mind. But she had no intention of stopping this. She would finally know what she’d only dreamt of, how Kathryn’s lips tasted.
Sapphire eyes closed, lips met and pressed sweetly. Kathryn took the time to savor the contact, her lips moved slowly in a gentle dance. The newness of a first kiss as each learned the feel and taste of the other. Then Kathryn pressed Seven back on the console, snuggled tightly up against her with one knee pressed between her legs. Pale blue eyes opened slightly when she felt Kathryn’s strong hands clasp her shoulders. Their lips parted and Seven looked at the fine features, blurred by proximity.
Kathryn is kissing me.
Her stomach flip-flopped, arms wrapped around Kathryn’s slender waist. Their lips met again and she was lost in a world of humid heat, rough lingual caresses and sharp desire.
"Regeneration cycle incomplete."
Seven awakened abruptly, rudely. Her breath burst from her as the sharp sting of arousal sang through her veins. Her thoughts were in chaos but her course was unclouded. The reasons for Captain Janeway’s strange behavior the past few weeks had become clear and coalesced into logic in the ethereal form of a dream. Now she would act. Kathryn could not pursue this; the reasons were evident. But Seven could.
"Computer, what is Captain Janeway’s location?"
"Captain Janeway is in her quarters."
"Computer, state the time."
Sufficient. Kathryn is not required on duty for five more hours. Seven left the cargo bay for deck three and the captain’s quarters. This time she would not be dissuaded. Tonight Kathryn Janeway would be hers. Resistance was futile.
Loving Seven (story two)
Hostile aliens had attacked Voyager repeatedly for the last ten days, but yesterday we finally passed out of their territory. Tired beyond measure, I had retired to my quarters and gone almost immediately to bed. I hoped I would sleep without dreams and for most of the night managed to do exactly that. But I should have known she would make her presence felt even through my exhaustion.
Somehow the dream always began in the middle of a hesitant first kiss. Lips parted and were so close that our breath was exchanged freely. A touch, a brief caress and she darted away again. I pursued her lips and captured them in hungry demand. She returned the kiss with ferocity, asking no quarter and plundering the softness in her stead. The dream kisses were the guilty pleasure in which I immersed myself without hesitation and just as I was starting to drown in them a sound intruded on my consciousness.
I tried to push the noise away by telling myself it was simply the manifestation of another dream trying to intrude. Slowly, reluctantly, I emerged from subconscious fantasies and opened my eyes in the darkness. The harsh chime sounded again and I realized someone was at my door.
"Computer, what time is it?"
"The time is 0303 hours."
Three o’clock in the morning? Who the hell…oh. There was only one individual aboard my ship with the audacity to awaken the captain in the middle of the night without a good reason. Briefly, I considered my alternatives. Answering the door wearing little more than a nightgown probably wouldn’t be a good idea. Arousal still sang through my veins and with the object of my desire standing right in front of me things could be extremely uncomfortable.
I could pretend I didn’t hear the chime and eventually she would give up and go away. The thought had barely passed through my head when I heard the entrance to my cabin open. I suppose I really shouldn’t have been surprised that she would let herself in without awaiting a response.
I realized that if she let herself into my quarters without permission there would be no reason for her to stop in the living area. That thought caused me to sit up and throw the covers back. I was sitting at the edge of the bed and had just reached for my robe when her silhouette filled the doorway. Her brashness gave me the excuse to withdraw into anger to cover my desire, but I had no more than taken a breath to tear into her when I made the mistake of looking into her face.
Seven’s expression gave me no reason to think she’d come to my quarters for a late night philosophical discussion. Her gaze was feral, pinned to my body in naked want. Eyes half-lidded and lips parted with ragged breaths; there was no question why she was here.
I felt a gasp rip from my throat and longing tore through me so strongly that it felt like molten lava burning my blood. "Seven!"
Her name was only a strong whisper in the room that quickly vanished into memory as she strode toward me. Still, I clung to my beliefs that I couldn’t allow anything but friendship between us. The friendship had long ago become something deeper, but I wasn’t at the place where I could admit that yet.
"Stop," I said, and was horrified by how uncertain my own voice sounded.
Seven must have thought the same because she never broke stride. She crossed the room and pushed me backward onto the bed. Her hands were on my shoulders and in seconds her body was pressing down against me.
"What are you doing? Stop this instant!"
"You know perfectly well what I am doing, Kathryn, and I do not believe you wish me to stop."
She was so close that I could feel the heat from her breath slide into my open mouth. My brain struggled uselessly against the onslaught of sensations and I tried to come up with a reasonable argument that would make Seven stop what she was doing.
Unfortunately, my body didn’t really want her to stop. Traitorously it was already reaching for her. My arms slid around her waist, my hands cupped her buttocks and I felt an implant against my palm.
Seven surged against me and threw her head back at the contact. Then she lowered her head and my lips were already parted in expectation. Before my dream could become reality I felt the ship rock and Voyager came to an abrupt stop in space. If not for inertial dampers we would have been thrown across the room and into the bulkhead.
"Red alert! All hands to battle stations!"
There was no time for regrets or recriminations. Seven and I could only exchange a brief glance before she stood and walked out of my quarters, headed for her duty station. I shook off my haze of desire and reached for the uniform across the back of a chair. There would be time for second thoughts and remorse later. Right now my ship was in trouble.
Magic Memories (story three)
Seven of Nine was in the cargo bay with Jennifer Delaney preparing for an away mission to study a minor nebula a few parsecs from Voyager. Seven considered the mission a waste of time but Captain Janeway had assured her that the excursion was just the thing to keep the crewmen in Stellar Cartography happy. Since it was the captain that asked, Seven had agreed.
Since the kiss that almost happened in the captain’s quarters Janeway had been avoiding her and Seven thought going on the away mission would give them both some time to think. Not that she really needed it. Seven clearly remembered how Kathryn had reached for her, how their warm breath had mingled and how yielding the soft body had been on the bed beneath her. Her eidetic memory insisted on replaying the events again and again in excruciating detail. She replayed every look, every sensation and each time it happened her stomach clenched in the most pleasantly distracting way.
If those pirates had not attacked the encounter would have ended very differently. Instead Captain Janeway was rarely spotted outside her ready room and issued commands through impersonal computer messages and passed-down pads. Seven found it all very frustrating, but didn’t know how to go about changing the situation.
Jennifer Delaney currently had her head and shoulders buried deep in a large packing crate near the rear of the cargo bay. She was looking for equipment to take with them, but that didn’t keep her from prattling on endlessly about how wonderful the nebula was. Seven found it tiresome and wasn’t really listening. In truth she found Delaney’s tendency to speak at great lengths without imparting any worthy information slightly more irritating than Harry Kim’s digressions.
Kathryn’s face flashed before Seven again and she sighed a little as she lifted the lid off a cargo bin. Near the bottom was the tool she was looking for and she bent over to retrieve it. Just as her hand closed around the hyper-spanner she had the strange sensation that someone was staring at her. It couldn’t be Ensign Delaney. The young woman was still speaking endlessly from the crate. Seven had the feeling someone was standing behind her.
Frowning slightly, she straightened and turned around. Kathryn was standing only a few feet away and her eyes were fixed on Seven’s posterior. Instead of starting in guilt Kathryn continued to appraise Seven’s body. Smoldering blue eyes traveled leisurely up the lean form until the two women were staring into each other’s eyes. What Seven discovered threatened to set her blood on fire.
Kathryn was slightly flushed and her pupils were dilated with what could only be desire. For long moments they continued to stare with Jennifer prattling on in the background completely unaware that the captain was in the cargo bay. Then Kathryn’s tongue slipped out to lick her bottom lip and the naked eroticism of the act caused Seven to gasp sharply.
With the sound Kathryn seemed to become aware of exactly where she was and that they weren’t alone. Her eyes slid away to glance at Delaney before she looked at Seven again and then turned to walk silently away.
Seven slumped boneless against a crate. For several moments her brain refused to function at all. She could only see the intensity of Kathryn’s gaze over and over and had difficulty drawing a proper breath. Eventually it occurred to her to wonder why Janeway had been in the cargo bay in the first place. Had she come down to admit her true feelings to Seven or to let her know that any kind of intimate relationship was out of the question only to discover that Seven wasn’t alone?
Whatever the reason, Seven was left with another moment of shared intimacy to replay in her memories.
"Seven," Jennifer said, backing out of the crate and turning to face the stunned woman. "Have you even been listening to me?"
"No. I most decidedly have not."
Needful Things (story four)
I should have known she wouldn’t let me get away with it. To be honest I’m not even sure what came over me. I was standing in the cargo bay staring at my crewman’s ass! Just the thought of it caused me to shake my head in disbelief. What was worse was that someone else had been in the cargo bay besides Seven. At least Jennifer Delaney had her head down the entire time and hadn’t a clue that the captain was in the room with them. At least there was that!
Being completely honest with all of the turbulent emotions that had surfaced over the last week was very hard for me, but I demanded it of myself. I’d never been a coward before and had no intention of starting now.
The fact was that I wanted Seven; wanted her with a passionate intensity I’d never before experienced. I couldn’t resist the desire that I knew shown in my eyes and that was mirrored back at me from the stranger that had come on my ship and dared storm my defenses. I heard her gasp when I wet my lip and that sound caused me to realize I was seconds away from grabbing her in a heated kiss. The kiss would have been the fulfillment of what began days before when she stalked unannounced into my private quarters.
Powerless, speechless, I could only hurry from the cargo bay before I revealed more than I already had. Of course it was enough for her to know the truth and now I was faced with the consequences. I looked again at the padd in my hand, hoping somehow that the contents would have changed in the last thirty seconds. They had not. I still held an invitation to dinner with the most amazing woman on the ship. What was I supposed to do now?
Refusing was a waste of time; she’d just barge into my quarters like before. Accepting was the only possible response, but what then? Tell her that I’d been acting like a fool and that nothing more than friendship was possible? As if! She knew better. I could always spout Starfleet and the regulations, but my heart protested loudly against such an idea. I loved her and I needed her. She’d break through any excuses in nanoseconds and I’d be lost. I yearned to be with her and I knew from her hungry look every time we met that she felt the same.
Maybe this was one of those rare times I needed to stop being the captain and just be Kathryn. The very thought was anathema to me, but it was also the only real answer.
I glanced again at the padd and realized I was prevaricating. It was time for me to do something out of character; I needed to talk with Seven without taking the time to plan how I wanted the encounter to go. The master tactician in me needed to take a backseat while I talked openly and honestly with this very special woman. She deserved that much from me.
A glance at the chronometer said that our shifts had ended over an hour ago, but a quick check with the computer told me she was still in Astrometrics. Not a very private place for what was sure to be an intimate conversation!
"Janeway to Seven of Nine."
"Seven here, Captain."
Her response was immediate and even over the comm channel I could hear the emotion in her voice. I smiled, but tempered my voice. "Could you meet me in holodeck one in twenty minutes?"
"Is this in response to my query, Captain?"
She was asking if I’d accepted her invitation; if this was a date. "No. I’d just like to speak with you somewhere a little more private."
Asking her to my quarters was impossible. I’d have her on my bed within moments of entering the cabin.
This time her response was hesitant, unsure if she wanted to hear the bad news I obviously bore. "Very well. Twenty minutes."
I took time to splash water on my face and run a comb through my hair. A look in the mirror was silent testament to how much sleep I’d lost obsessing over events of the last few days, but I didn’t think Seven would really mind. Finally I left the ready room, barely giving a nod to the officer at the conn, and took the turbolift for deck six.
She was already waiting in the corridor. Had she been anyone else, Seven would have been leaning against the bulkhead. Instead she stood ramrod straight with her hands at her sides.
"Computer, run program Janeway red omega."
The doors parted and we entered a quaint Irish pub that in Tom Paris’ version was called Fair Haven. I’d changed the program to suit my personal tastes and had deleted all of the characters except one. A young serving girl that I’d never bothered to name stood wiping down glasses behind the bar.
"Let’s sit over here." I led the way to a small round table in a deserted corner and Seven followed without comment. The girl would not come to take a drink order unless I signaled her.
When we were finally seated Seven couldn’t stand the suspense any longer. "You wish to inform me that we will not continue our current personal interaction."
Her voice was strong, almost angry, but the look in her eyes told another story. They shone suspiciously with repressed tears and I wondered at how she could have jumped to such a conclusion. Did I truly have the reputation for leading people astray and then abandoning them?
"No." My hand reached for hers and I touched Borg implants. They were softer than I’d imagined but I knew how strong and capable those hands were. I remembered being pushed backward by them onto my bed and fought the shiver of desire.
My need was strong, my heart was ready and for once, my head was in full agreement. I looked into her eyes and saw I had surprised her.
"I needed simply to be with you, to find out if this is possible. I know we want to be together and I’d be a fool to deny it. I also want it clear that this has to be between us, no one else can know."
"You are ashamed of me." Her lip trembled and I felt horrible that she could think such a thing.
"Never. I’m proud to be the one you want, but I have a problem with my private life being discussed among the crew. Can you understand?"
I squeezed her hand and felt the pressure returned. A small upturn curled the corner of her mouth and she smiled. "May I kiss you now?"
I felt a grin cover my face and my heart thudded in response to her question. "I thought you’d never ask."
Seven’s eyes became lidded and I saw her pupils expand with sudden desire. The reaction I witnessed left me breathless and I could only wait as she slid out of her seat and came toward me. Her hand, the one with the implant, reached for my face. The touch was so gentle that I almost believed I imagined it, but I did not imagine the soft sweetness of her lips when they brushed my own. Barely a touch, a feathered whisper of flesh against flesh before she pressed her lips firmly to mine.
I felt the moan start deep in my chest before it finally erupted and I helplessly parted my lips, surrendering to her. Absently I heard the holodeck doors part and voices that came to an abrupt halt, but pulling away now was beyond me. It was Seven who ended the kiss and reluctantly I turned to see Commander Chakotay and Harry Kim standing at the entrance with dumbfounded expressions on their faces.
Once Again Without You (story five)
Kathryn has been very angry and it has become apparent she no longer wishes an intimate relationship with me. She had informed me any such interaction would be secretive in nature because she didn’t want the crew discussing her private life. Exactly one kiss and forty seconds later Commander Chakotay and Ensign Kim entered the holodeck unannounced. Ensign Kim’s expression closely resembled a fish respirating. Commander Chakotay grabbed his chest as though experiencing a cardiac arrest. I find that difficult to believe since the doctor would have detected any such medical condition and corrected it.
At any rate, after he grabbed his chest he struck his head soundly against the bulkhead. Though my gaze was on the commander I was aware of Kathryn’s sympathetic wince. Then she was on her feet calling for a medical emergency and striding quickly for the exit.
That was two days ago. Commander Chakotay returned to duty this morning though Lieutenant Paris insists he was ‘faking’ the signs of a concussion. Kathryn has not been seen outside her quarters or the ready room. A check of Voyager’s systems indicates she has been using site-to-site transports to report to duty. Repeated communiqués to speak with her go without a response and after this morning’s staff meeting I am sure this behavior will continue indefinitely. When the briefing first began Captain Janeway looked around to ensure all were present. Her eyes rested on me briefly but there was no warmth in their stone-cold depths.
She has decided that our interaction on the holodeck was an error, that I am unworthy. Having tasted her love, however briefly, I find being spurned now unbearable. I never loved before Kathryn; I cannot bear seeing her knowing she is on the same ship and does not want me. The pain is too great. For that reason I have taken the Delta Flyer and fled Voyager.
I do not know where I am going, only that going back to the Borg is out of the question. Perhaps some day the pain I feel will not be as sharp. Then I will be able to remember her fondly rather than with this anguish that cleaves me to the soul.
"Of all the ignorant, asinine…! How could I have been so stupid?"
Kathryn paced her ready room floor, pausing occasionally to rake her fingers though already tangled locks. As soon as they had discovered Seven and the shuttle missing Kathryn had ordered them found. With Seven’s technical skills the task had proved difficult. Thirty-six hours later B’Elanna had located the last fading warp emissions and now they were tearing through space as quickly as Voyager could fly.
"All because I forgot to put a privacy lock on the holodeck doors."
Kathryn had been so embarrassed at being caught in a compromising position and walked out without a word. Then she avoided the woman she loved until she managed to chase her away. Kathryn knew she had a lot of groveling to do before Seven would forgive her and as much as she loathed the idea the alternative was even more unacceptable. If she couldn’t convince Seven to forgive her, she would lose her forever.
Faced with those consequences Kathryn realized it didn’t matter if the crew found out how she felt. She loved Seven and couldn’t leave her unprotected in the delta quadrant, even if she really had blown any chance of Seven loving her.
"Bridge to Captain Janeway. We’ve got the Delta Flyer on long-range sensors. Scans indicate the shuttle is adrift. Residual energy signatures suggest the shuttle was attacked. Most systems are down; life support is critical."
"How long?" Kathryn asked worriedly.
"ETA twelve minutes at maximum warp," Tuvok responded.
Twelve minutes was an eternity. "Can you get a lock on her?"
"Not at this distance. We’ll need another five minutes at least."
"Understood. Transport her directly to sickbay as soon as you can. Then tow the Delta Flyer into the shuttle bay. I’ll be in sickbay."
Penitent (story six: the conclusion) NC-17
"Why did you think you had to leave?"
I asked the question frightened to know the response yet also desperately compelled. Was Seven so repelled by my recent behavior that she couldn’t stand to remain on the same vessel? Was her attraction for me so tenuous as to be so easily extinguished? If such were the case I could easily long to follow her example and flee to some place I didn’t have to see my angel each time I looked around. To be forced to interact professionally while maintaining personal distance would tear my heart to pieces. Of course I could never leave Voyager. As her captain I don’t have that luxury. But as a normal emotional human I couldn’t prevent the thought from crossing my mind. I held my breath awaiting her response. I was prepared to grovel if necessary though such behavior is not in my nature and I wasn’t sure I could pull it off convincingly.
At first she didn’t answer. Seven stood quietly with her hands folded behind her back in her traditional stance. Usually she stared at me with quiet accusing eyes, but this time she stared out the window of my ready room and into the quiet blackness of space. My heart thundered silently as I waited, but it was a silence I could breach no farther. Any more would have to come from her. Until she spoke I wouldn’t know what damage control was required so I held my breath and waited.
"You did not want me here."
The words were so soft I could almost believe I imagined them and it took a moment to realize the full import of what she said. I did not want her here? She had inferred from my horrendous behavior that I was finished with her?
Nothing could have been farther from the truth and I was stunned at the results of my actions. Sure, I’d been embarrassed to be caught in a compromising position by two of my crew. The captain couldn’t be seen to have a weakness of any kind and being caught kissing my Astrometrics officer could definitely be seen as a weakness! That embarrassment had driven my behavior and led to Seven leaving the ship in the belief that I no longer wanted to be with her. But really, how did I think she would react? I overreacted by holing up in my quarters or my ready room. I stopped communicating with her and wouldn’t even respond to her inquiries. She was so young and inexperienced that she had taken all the blame upon her slender shoulders rather than putting it where it really belonged; square at my feet.
I moved to stand behind her. She still hadn’t turned from the transparent aluminum, but I knew she could feel my body heat from the close proximity. Slowly I raised my hands until I felt her shoulders tense beneath my palms. There was a slight trembling in her slender frame and I felt fresh pain flash through me. I had caused this because of my fear; fear of being perceived as weak, fear of giving my heart to another. Being a Starship captain for so long had blinded me to a truth that I knew two decades ago. Loving someone can bring great strength.
I wanted to embrace that strength now. I wanted to bask in her love and let the whole crew know how I felt. How could I think they would see me as weak when all of us are looking for our soul mates? Though I am captain I am no different.
Taking my newfound courage in my hands and a deep breath into my lungs I began to speak. "I never stopped wanting you. I have never wanted you more."
She turned to face me then with a mighty frown between her frost blue eyes and I dropped my hands to my side. "Why then?" she asked in a tremulous voice.
"Because I was embarrassed. When Chakotay and Harry walked in I was mortified that I hadn’t set a privacy seal on the holodeck."
"You were ashamed to be seen kissing me?"
The raw hurt in her voice made me feel about two centimeters tall, but she deserved the truth no matter how bad it made me look. "I was ashamed to be caught kissing anyone. I’m the captain and I had this ridiculous idea that it would make me look weak to need anyone. I was wrong and I’m sorry."
"Are you also sorry that you ignored all of my attempts to contact you?"
There was fire in her voice now and I realized she wasn’t quite ready to forgive me. "Yes. I’m sorry for that too. When I realized you’d gone I saw how silly I was being. You mean more to me than anything, Seven. I’ll do anything you ask, even give up being captain, if you’ll tell me you forgive me."
My words were sincere and I felt tears threaten though I refused to let them fall. Seven reached up to cup my cheek and brushed her thumb under my eye, staring with wonder at the moisture glistening there.
"Being captain is part of who you are. I would never ask you to relinquish that."
Relief flooded me, not just because I liked being captain but also because I now sensed that forgiveness was close to being granted. I closed my eyes and leaned into the warmth of her hand. For long, wonderful moments there was only the intimacy of her touch and I thought I would never want to leave that space. I changed my mind seconds later when her breath ghosted across my face. I opened my eyes to find her looming closer, her lips already parted in the promise of a kiss. Thoughts of propriety left me. The fact that we were in the ready room ceased to matter. All I could think of was that my love was here and her kiss was all I wanted.
"Seven!" I gasped just before her lips closed over mine.
My hands were in her hair, loosening the pins and dropping them to roll away unheeded on the deck. I pulled her to me ferociously and felt her lip split under the assault of my kiss. She growled and wrapped her arms around me, answering with passionate need as she spun around to slam me against the windows. Our mouths continued to plunder and I could only moan as her hands roamed my body, slid under my tunic and then cupped my ass firmly in her enhanced grasp. She picked me up with little effort until my legs wrapped around her midsection.
Her Borg hand cupped me from behind and kept me lifted, wedged between her and the window. Her other hand slid back around to the front of my trousers and there was no question of her intent. The snap and zipper parted easily. Her long fingers dipped beneath the hem and then she was there, caressing wet, warm, swollen flesh. For so long I had fantasized about her, longed for her and to have her suddenly touching me was more than my overheated body could stand. I slammed my head back against the transparent aluminum and didn’t even feel the impact of the blow as I panted under her touch. There was nothing gentle about it and in that moment I didn’t want there to be. All I wanted was Seven, now!
"Go inside me."
Her response was immediate. Two long fingers entered harshly, rasping against clinging walls and striking all the right places simultaneously. There was no need to build to a crescendo; I was already there. I threw my head back and howled my pleasure, uncaring and unthinking who might hear.
When it was over I clung to her and we kissed tenderly. I laved her split lip gently with my tongue though her nanoprobes were already starting to heal the small hurt. Tears coursed down her cheeks and I hugged her to me knowing they were tears of happiness that a stubborn captain had finally seen what was important. Love.
I would never go back to being who I had been. That Kathryn Janeway had been cold and hollow, never knowing real joy or how it felt to be needed other than as a captain by a crew. The person I had become loved completely and needed openly. I was proud of my darling, proud that she could love me in spite of my faults and proud to be the woman she loved. If my crew didn’t like it there was always a nice, uninhabited, M-class planet somewhere on which they could spend the rest of their days.
"Seven," I whispered softly into her ear. "I love you. Never leave me again."
"I will not Kathryn. I will never leave you. I love you."
The End of the Kissing Kathryn Series.